The art of self control

In this Internet age, it seems people are able to share their feelings, opinions and stories more easily than ever. I, too, have to admit that I've gotten a little caught up in the Facebook revolution. It's fun, sometimes, to offer quick one-liners about issues or events that strike you during the week.

But how do you know if that's the right thing to do? One of my favorite quotes from the movie Jurassic Park is when Dr. Ian Malcolm (Jeff Goldblum) says, "You were so busy wondering whether or not you could, you never stopped to think if you should." Of course, as anyone who's seen the film can attest, he was talking about an issue much bigger than over sharing in a public forum. But the lesson still applies.

I had the chance to see comedian Craig Ferguson when he stopped in San Luis Obispo this weekend. During his show he talked about being blasted by people online. As a humorous part of his act, he said when thinking about responding he always asks three questions: does this need to be said; does this need to be said by me; does this need to be said by me right now?

Ferguson may have been seeking to entertain, but his advice is sound.

Words are powerful, and in this day and age of easy, instant access, we can sometimes forget that. When I was in college, I was constantly amazed at the number of people that were as sweet as could be in person but as vicious as a lion when in chat rooms or posting to public forums. It was as if the electronic medium gave them a sort of courage to speak their minds in an unexpected and, sometimes, unhealthy way.

That continues today. I must admit I, too, have fallen victim to the heat of the moment. But I have tried to learn from that and to be more thoughtful in my communication. A number of times recently I've had an idea for a Facebook status update that wouldn't have been a good idea or have been overly emotional when considering how to respond to an e-mail or phone call. But in those situations, for the most part, the Holy Spirit has worked in my life to give me the wisdom of patient reflection. Often, as I've let the heat of the moment pass, I've been able to make more healthy decisions.

So the next time you're ready to share all your thoughts with the world, take a moment and ask yourself: does this need to be said; does this need to be said by me; does this need to be said by me right now; and, I might add, is this how God would have me respond. Trust me, you'll be glad you did!