Change

Change is never easy, especially for people that don't deal with change well. I'm one of those people. I hate change, and I think I sometimes act like a grump when change comes. Part of that stems from the fact that it's hard for me to see how the change will work out in the future.

I don't deal with disappointment particularly well either. When I was in college, I worked for three years on the school newspaper as a sports reporter then as sports editor. I like to think I had a passion for my job and I was good at it. And I thought it was all building toward something — I wanted to be editor in chief my senior year.

When the time came, I applied for the position. Though I was finishing my third year, because of my accelerated course load and AP credit I was just 18 units — or one semester from graduation. Being a part of the newspaper staff required a full year commitment. My plan was to be editor in chief and take easy loads the last year. But I didn't get the job.

There were a variety of reasons I wasn't picked, but it hurt, a lot. I was confused and angry. My plans were blown. In that moment, I figured I'd just take one semester of classes and graduate early. I didn't want to hear about the newspaper, let alone work on it. But God had a bigger vision.

A couple days after I found out I lost the job, the girl that got the job called me and asked to meet. She was a great person who I actually respected from being in the program with her. I agreed to the meeting but remained certain I didn't want any part in working for her. Turns out she didn't want that either, she wanted me to work with her, to serve as executive editor and manage the features section. God had a bigger plan for my life, and thankfully he was in control.

That year ended up being one of my best. I loved working for the paper and was thankful not to have as many administrative responsibilities. That year I wrote my first movie review, got into features and wrote a series on the Torrey honors program that I was very excited about. I broadened my horizons and put myself in a better position to succeed when I left school. I needed that, even though I didn't realize it at the time.

But when I first got the call saying I didn't get the job, all I felt was hurt and confused. I thought of that when I watched "Up In the Air." In the movie, it's George Clooney's job to break the bad news to people that they've been let go. To do this, he employs a catch phrase meant to offer comfort. He says, "Anybody who ever built an empire, or changed the world, sat where you are now. And it's *because* they sat there that they were able to do it."

That might sound condescending at first, but I find it inspiring. It's not about being fired or set adrift being a blessing, it's about the positive impact that can have if it motivates you to work harder, seek answers and find your purpose.

Michael Jordan, the greatest basketball player that ever lived, was cut from his freshman basketball team in high school. He could have responded by quitting the game, but instead it served as motivation. A hall of fame career and six titles later, it's fair to say he's made his freshman coach regret giving up on him.

Sometimes we don't understand the things that happen to us because we can't see the whole picture. It's in those times we have to trust God and rely on him. I was reminded of that during a scene in my new favorite show, "The Wire." An ex-con seeking a path in his life is frustrated, speaking to a deacon for advice. The deacon tells him "There's a peace that comes from surrendering to God." That's great advice, but it's not easy.

Nehemiah put it this way, "Do not grieve, for the joy of the LORD is your strength."