God Love Sex

Tomorrow we start our new series called God, Love, Sex. I am sure that it's not a topic at the top of most people's wish lists, and I am certainly among them. But, it's undoubtedly something that the church needs to address in a serious, realistic way.

The CNN Faith Blog posted an article last Sunday that was somewhat stunning to me. In the piece, it noted that the rate of pre-marital sex among self-professed Christians was nearly the same as for non-Christians. That, alone, is startling, but what's also startling is the fact that those rates are so high. According to the piece, the rate of pre-marital sex among Christians is 80% and among non-Christians its 88%. Look at those numbers again. It's astounding.

In the piece, some "experts" weighed in on what could be the reason for those percentages. One reasoned that it's because our society is so much more different today. He reasoned that, during Biblical times, youths married in their mid-to-late-teens and there were more arranged marriages, meaning that teens didn't have time to get into trouble. While I guess you could lend some credence to that argument (I don't, but some could), I don't think it's nearly so simple as that.

I have been watching a fascinating British series called "Downton Abbey." The series is set in England during World War I, so just shy of 100 years ago. In keeping with the age, the series talks about characters being "ruined" if it's discovered they engaged in pre-marital sex. We're not talking about characters that are devoutly Christian — in fact it's almost quite the opposite. But, by the standards of society, it just isn't done.

Now consider the re-make of "Footloose," which opened in America on Friday and depicts the deep south "Bible" belt during the contemporary era. As an act of rebellion, about 30 minutes into the film, the preacher's daughter decides to have sex with her boyfriend in the back of a truck because he made fun of her for being a tease.

Age is just a number, and you can't blame the degradation of morality in our society on social morays surrounding age. Sex is treated differently by the younger generation. It's not seen as special, but common. Which is why you see numbers in the 80% range for Christians and non-Christians alike.

You have to think, too, that Christians are partly to blame for this. Sex is often a taboo subject, full of restriction and not a lot of education. The tendency in humans is to rebel when the reins are held too tight, and you have to think that a lack of openness, a lack of education, and a sort of because-I-said-so mentality have added to the dilution of understanding about this topic. Combine that with a social and technological era that combine the dangerous ideals of instant, easy access and a desire to constantly push the boundaries of social acceptability and you have a cocktail for disaster.

I was struck by another interesting aspect of "Footloose" yesterday, which was so-called religious ideology being used to control youth. In the 1980s it seemed a little weird to have a town where dancing was proclaimed illegal, so in 2011 it sounds completely ridiculous. But is it?

There are still conservative denominations — like the Southern Baptist Church — that frown upon or forbid dancing, seeing it as a gateway to immorality. I guess, in some instances, that could be kind of true, but it seems like a bit of a stretch. I am no stranger, however, to this line of thinking. When I attended Biola University (from 1999-2003), I had to sign a student conduct contract. It forbade drinking, pre-marital sex, drugs, and dancing. That's right, no dancing... We're not talking about decades ago, we're talking about in the 21st Century. And I believe the contract still reads the same today.

And I've seen this approach yield other dangerous consequences in the Christian community. We live in an era and a society that is obsessed with sex and pushing the envelope, while the rallying cry of the church is sex is bad, wait for marriage. What I've noticed is that among some Christian teens and young adults, this spurs a serious desire to get married ASAP. We used to joke about people that were at college simply to find a husband or wife. It was funny at the time, but I can't help but wonder if this misplaced emphasis on making a terribly important life decision based on one desire doesn't help explain the Christian divorce rate, at least in part. Though that's probably a discussion for another day.

All this is to say, I don't know what the answer is, and I know there isn't an easy answer, but I know that the numbers in that poll are shocking. Unless we start approaching this topic in a new way, it's hard to imagine how things will change.