Holding On To Love (Wednesday)

What is it in us that forms connections to another person? That’s the fundamental question you have to ask when watching the film “The Vow.” The movie is about a young, married couple — Channing Tatum and Rachel McAdams — who suffer a terrible accident.

After a prolonged coma, McAdams wakes up, but she’s fundamentally changed. She suffered a traumatic brain injury that essentially erased the last five years of her life — her entire relationship with Tatum and all the decisions and changes she made in her life that led to him.

Having just gotten married, this idea was somewhat terrifying to me. Seeing a man struggle with trying to support and love his wife when she didn’t even remember meeting him was deeply sad.

The film is based on a true story, which was turned into a book. I haven’t read the book, but I understand the real couple has a strong Christian testimony. The film isn’t really interested in that. Rather, the film is interested in the idea of enduring love, even when you can’t remember a thing about the other person.

In real life, the couple that inspired the story are still married and have two children, but she never regained any of her memories. In the film, things aren’t as simple, but you’re left with a hopeful feeling. Tatum vowed in his wedding to stand beside his wife, no matter what, and though she can’t remember it, he remains true to the vow.

Eventually, McAdams’ character begins to follow a similar path and it leads her to a similar place. But nothing is as it was.

In reading a book called “The Starfish and The Spider,” it talks about memories. Studies have been done trying to pinpoint where memories are held, but consistently researchers have found that they can’t. After all our years of study and research, we still don’t understand the mystery of how our brains work.

That makes stories like the one in “The Vow” even more confounding. The only thing we can do is appreciate those we love and the memories we cherish, because we never know when they might fade from our view.