Left Behind

"It was a test. Not for what came before but for what comes after. The test is what happens now." — Matt, "The Leftovers"

There is a moment at the outset of the movie "Doubt" when Father Flynn (Phillip Seymour Hoffman) talks about the bond that comes when people wrestle with uncertainty. There are moments — in the case of the film its the example of the assassination of John F. Kennedy — that we don't expect, and that cause us to question the larger plan. That process of soul searching can be a bonding and healing experience. And Father Flynn reminds us that when we feel lost, we're not alone.

But what if that process took us in another direction? Last night's episode of "The Leftovers" reminded me of that. As I've written about previously, this is a show that I have mixed feelings about. The set up and the plot premise holds a lot of promise. There are so many ways this idea can be explored. So much that can be pondered. Yet, the first two episodes of the series seemed to spend its energy on the bleakest, most hopeless, and most nihilistic exploration of those questions.

Sunday's episode was different. Sunday's episode — while dark and challenging — touched upon the topic in a way that connected with me. I would call it a bottle episode, though it's hard to say since its so early in the series. But, unlike the first two episodes, this one focused on Matt (Christopher Eccleston), an Episcopal minister trying to live out his faith and find his mission in a world turned upside-down.

Matt began the episode by offering the people the same reminder as Father Flynn — that God is with us, watching over us. But there weren't many left in his flock to heed that comforting reminder. Instead, Matt summoned the will he could find to offer the message of hope to the handful who came on Sunday morning. Others, like the man who brought his baby in secret to be baptized, tried to maintain faith while others around them scoffed.

Such is the condition of the world. When 140 million people disappear overnight, it colors the way you look at the future. It's natural to assume that many would feel God abandoned them, doesn't care, or, worse yet, never existed in the first place. Many may have assumed that the Rapture happened and they'd been left behind, that it was perhaps too late for them.

Matt, a man of God and a man of faith, tried to provide hope for the people and keep the church going, but he himself was struggling. How could this have happened? What was God trying to say? Could he have been left behind?

I have heard some Christians say that perhaps the Rapture won't be just believers, that it will be a number of people as part of the Tribulation. While I find it difficult to uphold that position from Scripture, much of End Times theology remains a mystery. So, let's assume for the moment that is possible — and that is possibly what the creators of the show want to explore in this meditation on loss, grief, and what comes next.

That makes Matt even more fascinating. He channels his energy into trying to disprove that this was the Rapture. He digs up dirt on those who disappeared, thinking that people will find that comforting. Few, if any, do. I don't even think Matt really finds it comforting. But there is little that comforts him in his new reality.

Since the disappearance, Matt's church has all but disappeared and his personal life has been hell. His wife was catastrophically injured in an accident that day. She didn't leave in body, but her spirit is surely gone. His sister's family disappeared all together, leaving her grieving, confused, and alone. And as a Pastor, he feels he should have the answers — but those answers allude him.

One of the striking things, to me, was the way that Matt sought affirmation of the presence of God. The man who was supposed to have all the faith and all the answers was still looking for answers himself. Perhaps the most emotional scene, to me, was when Matt came to visit the girl with cancer who'd been in a coma. When he learned she woke up, a smile broke across his face and you could see the tears behind his eyes. His church had prayed for her. He had called upon God, and God had responded.

When he told the orderly the church prayed for the girl that morning, and the orderly responded, "Well, she woke up last night," watching the reaction of Matt was beautifully heartbreaking. It was a simple response from the orderly, but it shattered Matt's world and one of his last vestiges of hope.

The entire episode was, like the rest of the show, hard to watch. It was sad and, at times, dark. But it came from an honest place and was beautifully put together. It was an exploration of faith, God, and doubt in the wake of an event that put faith into question, and it was handled beautifully.

I don't know if "The Leftovers" will be a good show, but for the first time on Sunday night it was a show I wanted to watch and a story I wanted to see.