Money Talk

"We will never be able to ask for money if we do not know how we ourselves relate to money. What is the place of money in our lives?" — Henri Nouwen

This week I'm taking a special course about giving. Well, actually it's about money, people who donate, and how we relate to them. Without money, non-profits — including churches — won't exist. But talking about money and asking for money often feels uncomfortable.

During our first day's discussion we were asked to write about how we feel personally about fundraising and asking for money. I had to think about it for a minute, but if I'm being honest, I see it as a necessary evil. Asking for money, of course, isn't evil. It is necessary. But it's also awkward and uncomfortable.

When I know we're having Commitment Sunday, and I suspect the message is going to be about the Biblical mandate to be generous givers, I get uncomfortable and think of reasons to skip. I had to ask myself why? And I think it's because, too often, talking about giving in church seems to come from a place of guilt. Perhaps that's a generational thing, but it's the way I think about it.

I like to give online — more specifically I do a recurring gift. It's drawn off my credit card, it happens every month, and I don't have to think about it when I go on Sundays. I give, and I know this. But when the plate comes down the row and I don't put anything in, I feel uncomfortable. I give in a different way, but sometimes I feel like I'm being judged by the older folks around me. That's probably just a matter of my perception, but it informs the way I think about giving.

I remember when I worked at my last call, there was a man that talked about his giving. He came from a place of being upset at seeing people reach into their pockets for whatever they had when the plate passed, or starting to write a check only once the offering was called. For him, tithing was a sacred thing. He and his wife gave exactly 10 percent — down to the penny. And he talked about their ritual of writing the check the night before, and spending time praying that the funds would help further the work of the Kingdom. It was as much a part of faith to him as prayer, Bible reading, and attending service.

I was amazed by his story and his dedication. And I was amazed because it's something I never thought to do. But to him, that is what it meant to be a faithful steward of all God had given. I can't help but wonder if some of that has been lost by my generation, and the generations that will follow.

Giving should be as normal a part of the Christian life as prayer or reading the Bible. It should be an outgrowth of who we are as people of faith. But I think, often, I give out of a sense of obligation or guilt. I want it to come from a place of a generous spirit, I just struggle with how to get there. I hope that, after this week, I'll have a better idea.