The End of a Journey

"I'm tired Herschel." -Rick, "The Walking Dead"

"The Walking Dead" began its ninth season on Sunday, October 7. Throughout the season I'll be recapping the episodes each Monday, considering themes and where the series is headed.

I have a lot of feelings about last night's episode and I'm sure I'll need more time to process it. We have known that Andrew Lincoln was leaving, and last night would be his last episode. But how would it happen? By now you should know that these are episode recaps that include spoilers, but for those who haven't watched last night's episode, please know I will spoil what happened below. You've been warned!

Rick (Lincoln) is gone, but he's not gone forever. That was pretty much the biggest shock of the night, especially given how the episode prior ended. Rick was thrown from his horse and landed on some rebar, and that didn't look promising. Especially in a world like "The Walking Dead." But Rick managed to pull himself up and get going.

He was dying and spent some time seeing those he'd lost. He saw Shane (Jon Bernthal), and got a little closure there. Shane was never my favorite character, but I thought that scene was fitting and beautiful. Then Rick saw Herschel (Scott Wilson), a scene made even more poignant since Wilson recently passed. Finally, Rick saw Sasha (Sonequa Martin-Green), and she gave him a final push. Rick also saw a vision of those who he wants to protect most, his family, like Daryl (Norman Reedus), Maggie (Lauren Cohan), Carol (Melissa McBride) and Michonne (Danai Gurira).

And Rick, nearing the end, found the strength to save his friends. He lifted his gun. He fired at the dynamite. He blew the bridge. He sacrificed himself to save the community. He had done it so many times. The reluctant hero, but the hero nonetheless. And the tears in Daryl's eyes and the screams from Michonne were powerful. And the show faded to black for a commercial. It was tough, but it felt like what should have been a fitting end.

But it wasn't. Instead, Jadis (Pollyanna McIntosh) found Rick near death on the banks of the river, and took him aboard that mysterious helicopter. And we know he lives. And Rick will appear in future movies. And while a part of me is glad that Rick Grimes lives, another part of me felt cheated by that ending. And I'm apprehensive about what's to come in those movies, whenever they happen. But that is a worry for another day.

Of course the show didn't leave us there, it jumped well ahead at the end. And we closed with a now older and world-weary Judith Grimes (Cailey Fleming) saving a new group to bring them into the world. There, too, I felt cheated. We don't get to see people mourn the loss of Rick and struggle with the loss. Instead, we move six years into the future and pick up with what's left of the dream Rick sacrificed himself to save.

I'm sure there will be more introspection on that in the days and weeks to come.

Other Items:
* Maggie finally faced off with Negan (Jeffrey Dean Morgan). Driven by grief and anger, she sought to end Negan for what he'd done. And he tried to stoke those flames. But Maggie finally realized there are fates worse than death, and for Negan being locked in that cage, powerless, is such a fate. And she, too, spared his life.

* While it was nice to see all those that Rick connected with, it felt off that he didn't see Lori (Sarah Wayne Callies), Glenn (Steven Yeun) or Carl (Chandler Riggs). That felt like a real missed opportunity.