Letting Go of Anger

"You need to let go of the past -- the life you lost -- and start living the life you have. It's time both of us do." - Miles, "God Friended Me"

The best new show of 2018 is "God Friended Me," a beautiful look at faith and the world. Each week it airs a new episode, I'll be recapping my thoughts.

Last night "God Friended Me" aired its Winter Finale, and it was a doozy. One that brought up a lot of emotional issues and left us in a place of preparing for all that the back half of season one will have to offer in the Winter and Spring. And there's plenty to think about here.

Miles (Brandon Michael Hall) was sent a friend request, this time for the man who killed his mother 17 years earlier. For Miles, that wound is still raw. His anger has defined his journey, at least in part, to this point. His loss shaped his view on the world, especially as it pertains to God, and it makes sense that he would be asked to confront that anger and loss. Especially on the eve of the anniversary of her death.

Predictably, Miles is angry and refuses the request. Rakesh (Suraj Sharma) wants to finish his math puzzle and find Falcon, so he wants Miles to persist. But for Cara (Violet Beane), it's different. She wants to help because it's true to who Miles is, and she doesn't want him to lose that. Miles reluctantly agreed to speak with the man, but it provided little solace and served more as a vent for his anger.

Then Miles discovers that his father, Arthur (Joe Morton), has also helped the man who killed his mother, and it furthers his anger. But his father pushed him to see past the anger and let it go, as the only path to being who he wants to be. Arthur said, "Your sister said that the God Account sent you his name. I think that's for a reason. It's time for you to let go, son, because if you don't you will never be able to move forward."

So Miles is forced to consider if his own anger is holding him back. This is true for all of us, and is something all of us are forced to overcome. We suffer hurt and wrong, and it is human when it leads to anger. But letting that anger burn only hurts ourselves. One of my favorite proverbs on anger is, "holding on to anger is like drinking poison yourself and hoping it kills the other person." It's not healthy and it holds us back.

Conversely, forgiveness can be beautiful. One of my favorite films is the movie "Devil," a small horror film written by M. Night Shymalan. In it, a cop (Chris Messina) talks about his struggle to get over anger after a drunk driver killed his wife and son, then left the scene with a simple hand written note saying I'm sorry. That anger weighed him down, and he mentions early that he can't wait to find the person responsible for this act. And you can only imagine what he'll do.

Through a twist of fate, he encounters the man that killed his family. He takes him into custody and is driving him to the station. In that moment, I was tense waiting to see what he'd do with the man alone. Slowly, he reveals to the man that he's the husband and father of the people killed. He says he's imagined what he would do in this moment a million times. And as the tension builds, the cop says he forgives the man who killed his family. And that's how it ends. It was unexpected and beautiful. He was able to let go, and you see the weight lift on his face.

That is the power of being able to move on. And Miles, in his own way, is able to do the same. What happened to his mother isn't OK, but he is willing to forgive and move on. That's reflected in his closing podcast.

"We usually think of second chances as a way to move on, move forward. But I think second chances are about acceptance. That's why they're so rare. Because accepting who you are and what you really want isn't as easy as we like to think."

Miles is learning to let go of the pain that drove him and kept him isolated. He's re-connected with his father in a meaningful way, he's connected to friends, and he's opened himself up to helping others. That is a great deal of personal growth, and I'll be curious to see where he goes, and what setbacks he suffers, along the way.

Other Notes:
* The end of the episode brought the revelation of Falcon (Parminder Nagra). I'm on record as saying that I'm not a huge fan of the potential in this storyline. I'm happy to believe there is something supernatural at work in these stories, and if they try to tie it together too neatly to a single person pulling the strings, I will be disappointed.

* We have been playing a dance these 11 episodes between Miles and Cara. They are drawn to each other, and I think they're right for each other. We got another tease and moved a bit closer to them admitting it to each other. But it hasn't happened yet. Shows thrive on teasing these things out, and I'll be curious to see how this story plays out the rest of this season.