Male Pattern Bonding

"Every man dies, not every man really lives." — William Wallace (Mel Gibson), "Braveheart."

I started with that quote from "Braveheart" because it not only was the theme of this year's Highlands Men's Retreat, it also summed up some of why I went. Of course I had a job to do as part of Highlands' staff, but also because I have been taking those words to heart. I think what William meant is that life is about taking risks and stepping out of our comfort zone. This resonated with me when reading a book by Donald Miller, "A Million Years and a Thousand Miles." In the book he talks about the complacency we allow to rule our lives, and that fact we need to make an effort to shake ourselves out of our comfort zone.

So you're asking yourself, how does the Highlands Men's Retreat factor in? Well, I have a confession. First, I'm not overly fond of large groups. I am an introvert in the biggest sense of the word. I like my quiet times, and I'm not overly fond of sharing in a group setting. Second, and I can't state this too strongly, I do not like nature. I mean, I enjoy looking at beautiful pictures or the occasional day trip — but camping is my nightmare. So, yeah, a weekend of male bonding in the woods wasn't high on my to do list.

But God knows what he's doing, and I think he has a sense of humor.

There were parts of the trip that were exactly what I imagined them to be. We were in a structure of sorts, but it was kind of cold and the cacophony of man-made sounds and that of the world around us sort of made it hard to sleep. The fact I had to go pee in the middle of the night but neglected to pack my glasses and was about a quarter mile from the bathroom wasn't helping either.

Then there was the exciting excursion on Saturday. Let me stress, I really don't like snakes. I don't like the idea of snakes, the thought of snakes, and especially the physical existence of snakes in my presence. So the exciting prospect of our hike in the heat, through weeds, with the prospect of rattle snakes sitting along our path was not my idea of a great time, however it was memorable. I do remember fondly thinking, and mentioning to one of the members of our group, at one point on the path that we were approaching the time in a typical horror film where some of our group were about to be bitten by snakes and the rest were to be attacked by the hill people calling that remote area home.

Of course, none of that happened.

So I guess the question is, was I glad I went. Absolutely. It wasn't something I would necessarily chosen, but God used it as a time of growth regardless.

This weekend was about stepping out of my comfort zone, stepping out of my shell a little, and being part of the body of Christ. Getting to spend time learning and sharing with other men helped me grow too. It was a time I'll never forget.

Perhaps my favorite moment was Saturday morning, when I was able to steal away for a few minutes with my Bible and an incredible view of the lake. In the peace and quiet of that moment I found freedom, which is what the retreat was all about.

I guess I can sum it up best by saying I can't wait to see what God has in store next year.