A different shade of normal

In the 1990s, the band Offspring came out with a song called "The Kids Aren't All Right." It was an anthem that bemoaned the death of the American dream among the new generation. In a lot of ways it was about people getting sucked into an idea that ended up destroying all the hopes and dreams they had about what it meant to be an American.

In a lot of ways we could consider the 2010 film "The Kids Are All Right" to be an anthem the demise of conservative values in American culture. Sure, our cultural values have been iffy for a while, but it's films like "The Kids Are All Right" that provide a sure sign of just how far we've slipped.

The film is well-acted, well-crafted, and is almost certain to earn a Best Picture nomination as well as a handful of other nominations. It tells the story of a modern American family, a committed married couple trying to raise their two teenagers. Sound nice huh? I'm sure that the filmmakers and a large segment of the liberal culture would like us ALL to think so.

The problem stems from the fact that the married, committed couple Nic (Annette Benning) and Jules (Julianne Moore) are both women. The fact that this film is being hailed as one of the most moving and honest looks at the struggles of marriage should be another red flag for Christians. But it shouldn't be a surprise.

I think we often underestimate the power of cultural art forms — including film, music, and television — to influence cultural morality. This film is a prime example. It didn't start the revolution, it merely serves as cultural evidence that the movement to normalize same-sex relationships is succeeding.

I think this is because, over the last decade, we've seen a tactical shift in the way gay relationships are portrayed. Instead of trying to focus on telling stories of characters "coming to terms with their sexuality" or gaining acceptance among their peer group and family, the shift has been to "normalize" the alternative lifestyle so that it just seems like a part of every day life.

I don't think this is the first time we've seen this kind of cultural shift through media. Consider the idea of Americans' sexual promiscuity. In eras past, the depictions of sex between characters and such was treated very differently. Moving through the 1970s, 1980s, and 1990s, there were subtle shifts in the portrayal. Now items from other eras are considered "quaint" because they didn't represent the cultural values and actions of the people in a real way. Now, consider another viewpoint. Was promiscuity as big from the 1920s to the 1980s as people would have you believe, or was that message slowly delivered to the culture through media to a point at which we now accept it as fact?

And consider the last decade alone, look at home much promiscuous behavior has not only become acceptable but considered normal. Consider teen shows. When the original "Beverly Hills 90210" first hit the air in the mid-1990s, they still treated sexual relationships as a big deal among teens. Whole episodes and seasons were devoted to it. Now consider modern teen shows. Consider "Gossip Girl," which is emblematic of this current generation. One of the main characters, Serena (played by Blake Lively), had at least a half a dozen different sexual partners last season, and that only counts recurring ones. It's the same in other dramas. Consider "Grey's Anatomy," which basically would lead you to believe that when they aren't operating on people, doctors are hooking up with whoever is closest. Or what about sitcoms. Last year, on a popular CBS sitcom, a whole plot centered on one of the characters achieving his 200th different sexual partner. Hard to imagine that would have been an approved plot 10 years ago.

So I ask again, is entertainment reflective of culture or has it shaped the culture through the portrayals of what is "normal." I think the same could be asked of depictions of marital fidelity. Have people always been cheating at a record rate, of has it become more normalized in society as a result of depictions through cultural media?

Which that second question, I think it might even be unintentional normalization. There are only a few types of stories told through crime dramas — one of the most popular being the cheating spouse. Given the rise of procedural dramas, that story quickly rose to a cliche level, which only exacerbates the problem.

Which leads me back to same-sex relationships. One of the most brilliant strategies pro-same-sex couple advocates took was changing the way it is portrayed in the media. When Ellen DeGeneres's alter-ego actually "came out" on her sitcom in the mid-1990s, it made big news headlines and possibly damaged the show, which ended a little over a season later.

Now, it probably wouldn't generate much buzz because even those that don't support the lifestyle choice have come to expect it. That's thanks in large part to the way same-sex relationships have been normalized.

In the last year alone, there has been a push to see same-sex couples as regular families. That's what "Modern Family" is all about. It depicts several modern, normal American families and portends to be a comedy that captures Americas modern family units. Of course, one of the "modern" family units is a committed gay couple. There isn't any drama over this, it's just presented as a fact of life we all need to accept.

That is the problem I have with "The Kids Are All Right." It's a brilliant stroke in normalizing what is very much an alternative lifestyle. And the fact it's receiving high praise for the honest way it approaches mature, adult relationships and marriage is another disappointment. We are losing this cultural war, and I fear it is even starting to impact the church.

Recently I read an article about the Presbyterian Church USA leaders arguing over same-sex relationships. (If you want to know my stance, in case it hasn't been obvious enough with this post, I believe that same-sex relationships are sinful as noted in Scripture. I do not believe there can be any doubt about this). But I was horrified by the argument used by one minister quoted in the piece. He said, roughly, that this was an area where the church was lagging behind practices already accepted by the rest of society.

Why did that bother me? Because it's partly true. Our culture, through a variety of means, seems to have bought into the lie. That's unfortunate. What's more unfortunate is that now those within Christianity actually think we need to do a better job of conforming to the world. You know what, I accept that we're lagging behind the world in that area, and I'm proud of it. Not only do I want to lag behind "the world," I want to stand up and fight against the idea that our cultural values are the right ones. I would hope all men and women of faith feel the same way.