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Here's a look at the films I saw last week. The common theme that bonded them was violence, pointlessness, and unexpectedly high levels of random nudity. In short, we must be in the dregs of early September.

The American

Starring: George Clooney

Synopsis: I could list some of the other actors in this film but decided against it for a couple reasons. First, none of them are well known domestically, so there is a chance we could protect their anonymity from the let down this film was. And second, this film is really all about Clooney, and it's not really good, so there's no point to belabor the point. This film could be described in one word — tedious. Clooney is a gifted performer, but it's hard to tell what he was trying to convey with this role. The film is about an assassin who is being hunted by some unknown bad guys. He fills his days by working out, tinkering on a sniper rifle, enjoying some social time with a local priest, and visiting a prostitute. That's it. For 105 minutes. You would like to think there was some kind of deeper point or meaning in the story, but there just isn't. The film simply exists, the character exists, and then it ends. It is a boring, protracted film that's not even very artfully shot. That last part is a surprise considering the director — Anton Corbijn — is supposedly an award-winning photographer. Some of his selections were curious, but then again the movie is so boring it's hard to care. There was a cool idea there somewhere, it just never got filmed.

Rating: R for violence, sexual content and nudity.

Verdict: One star out of four.

Machete

Starring: Danny Trejo, Steven Segal, Cheech Marin, Don Johnson, Michelle Rodriguez, Jessica Alba, Jeff Fahey, Lindsay Lohan, and Robert DeNiro

Synopsis: "Machete" began as a lark. Trejo played the titular character in a faux trailer included as part of the "Grindhouse" double-feature Robert Rodriguez did with Quentin Tarantino. But fans liked the trailer, so Rodriguez decided to make it a full-length feature. "Grindhouse" worked as a send-up of 1970s exploitation films. It was campy and crudely put together, but everything was done with a wink and a nod. That was one of the reasons I felt it was a successful cinematic endeavor. "Machete" has some of those elements, as you'd expect, but oddly Rodriguez decides to make it a big political film too. The pro-illegal immigration message is WAY too heavy-handed, and the fact that a film that has this level of violence, sex, profanity, and cheese is dealing with a topic as complex as immigration is a giant red flag. It doesn't work together in an organic, believable, or even compelling way. This film feels self-indulgent from start to finish and it is also more than a little religiously offensive. I guess that's what Rodriguez was going for, but it doesn't work. His best films have been light in tone, quick with the wit, and a little too over-the-top with the violence. This film captures some of that, but slaps on a heavy-handed message too. That combined with the wildly eclectic cast makes this film more than a little bit of a misfire.

Rating: R for strong bloody violence throughout, language, some sexual content and nudity.

Verdict: One star out of four.