Crazy Love

I have been going through the book "Crazy Love" for a small group I'm a part of. Each chapter of the book, written by Francis Chan, seems to offer an even more challenging idea than the next. And I mean that in the best sense of the word.

The latest chapter I read focuses on what a loving relationship with God looks like. Not, of course from his point-of-view, but from our own. Chan begins with an illustration about his Grandma Clara that I found powerful. He talked about how much she looked forward to her morning prayer because it was her special time with the most important person in her life.

Of course, as Christians, we should have God as the most important person in our lives. We should desperately crave our time with him. We should be able to share with Him completely — after all he knows everything about us anyway — but we allow our lives to get in the way. I'm no different.

For a long time I've struggled with opening up to God more completely. There are little things, the concerns of my daily life, that always felt too small to me to be worth sharing and praying over. Those fears about the future that I know I shouldn't have and am all too good at pushing to the back of my mind. But that's not what God wants. He wants us to give our burdens to him. He wants us to shed all those things that weigh us down. After all, he said come to Me all you who are weary and I will give you rest.

I felt convicted, reading the chapter, that is an area where I need to improve. I need to be more open. On Monday night, after I read the chapter, I felt this incredible desire to pray. I know that shouldn't sound all that strange, but I was sitting in the middle of the waiting area at the SLO Airport, waiting for my sister to return. It was public, but it was quiet, and I felt strongly that was what I needed to do.

I closed my eyes and began laying out everything that was on my heart. The next thing I knew, 30 minutes had passed. But I wasn't just killing time, I was freeing myself. It was amazing, but I somehow felt energized and lighter. I felt the same way you do when you confide in a close friend. And it occurred to me, that's how it's supposed to feel when we share our lives with God. We just need to find a way to do it more often, and more freely. I know it's something I'm working on.

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