Getting Over Grief by Getting Involved

"Not only so, but we also glory in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, character; and character, hope. And hope does not put us to shame, because God’s love has been poured out into our hearts through the Holy Spirit, who has been given to us." — Romans 5:3-5

One of my favorite topics to consider is how we deal with hard things in life. There is a tendency in Christianity to make it seem like, past the moment of conversion, a fairy tale. There is this belief that once we give our lives to God, we will endure no hardship or suffering.

That's not the case. What I find beautiful are the moments where people are able to push through their grief and see the ways God can use that to make them stronger and the world better. The hardest thing for the world to reconcile — including Christians — is how a loving God can allow bad to happen in the world, and why bad things happen to "good" people.

When we suffer tragedy, we have a choice. We can give into grief, self doubt, anger, and sorrow. Or we can lean into God and try to figure out how we can take that experience and grow from it.

HBO films' latest release, "Mary and Martha," is a beautiful portrait of two mothers who didn't let the loss of a child keep them from doing good in the world. They came from different places, are different ages, and had different backgrounds, but they were united in loss and a commitment to make the world a better place.

Mary (Hilary Swank) lived a comfortable live on the East Coast. When her son, George, was being bullied, she decided to act. She took him out of school and took him on an educational adventure to Africa. She wanted the best for her son, so she decided to break with convention and do something he would always remember.

Her best of intentions went wrong when George contracted malaria and died. Heart broken and immersed in guilt, Mary didn't know what to do or how to move forward. That is until she went back to Africa, where her son died, to try and find some answers.

There, Mary met Martha (Brenda Blethyn), another mother whose son died of malaria while in Africa. Together, they explored and orphanage and were confronted with just how widespread the disease is, and how many other mothers were experiencing similar grieving.

A formative moment comes when Martha says she's a mother without a child, but a mother who's not ready to stop being a mother. Mary feels the same, and together the women realize the way to honor their children and their grief is to try and save as many other mothers as possible from experiencing their pain.

The ladies push through obstacles and push the U.S. Government to get involved and to stop the senseless death through further aide commitments. They also push their friends to get involved, and inspire the community as well.

The powerful part of this film — which is a fictional story — is pushing through grief, and using it as inspiration to make the world a better place. For the writer, Richard Curtis, the inspiration for this story came from being confronted with the high cost of malaria, and the low cost of combatting it. He couldn't help but think about what he would feel if he lost his own children.

In writing about the film in its inspiration, Curtis said, "The film is really about being a parent, and about, as Brenda's character says, the question of 'What can a mother without a child really do?' What they decide to do is find out about malaria, and do whatever they can to fight against this terrible killing machine... And Mary and Martha, two very ordinary women who(se) sorrow makes (them) extraordinary, try to do something about that."

Curtis succeeds, and delivers a movie that makes you think and leaves you feeling inspired.