Fall TV Roundup, Week Nine

In these weekly posts I review the new shows on TV. I give grades for the pilot and second episode of each of the new shows this fall. If you don't see a new show below, please check previous weeks.

Tuesday Nights:
Things You Shouldn't Say Past Midnight, Tuesdays at 8 p.m. on DirecTV (Premiered October 14)
About: This is an original sitcom from DirecTV based on the play by Peter Ackerman. It's about a series of misadventures based on the premise that nothing good happens after midnight. Apparently the scripts for this show were written after midnight, too. There is nothing good about the show. The episodes are short, oddly paced, strangely constructed, and lacking in jokes. It appears to be trying to move in real time with various stories, but it's hard to follow and not interesting enough to compel you to make the effort. Everyone is getting into original programming now, and DirecTV has launched several series this fall. This is by far the worst.
Pilot Grade: F
Second Episode: F

Uncle, Tuesdays at 8:30 p.m. on DirecTV (Premiered October 14)
About: This is an import to DirecTV from England. It's about a slovenly man who finds a bit of purpose in his life mentoring his nephew. I think what they're going for here is a little bit of a lower class "About A Boy." And there were moments in the second episode that worked, but this show is a bit uneven. It's OK, but if you stop to think about it too long it seems like child abuse. It probably is. There are a few sweet moments, but not enough to justify getting into this series. Maybe it plays better across the pond.
Pilot Grade: D
Second Episode: C-

Marry Me, Tuesdays at 9 p.m. on NBC (Premiered October 14)
About: This is the latest comedy from David Caspe, creator of "Happy Endings," and stars his wife, Casey Wilson, and Ken Marino in a story loosely based on his life. There is talent here and an interesting premise. This is a relationship comedy about two fiercely independent people coming together, and their friends and influences in their lives. To me, the best part of the first two episodes has been Dan Bucatinsky and Tim Meadows, who play Wilson's dads. They are funny, have great timing, and boost the scenes they are in. I thought the pilot was a bit uneven, but I liked the second episode a bit more. There is some potential here, and this might be NBC's best new sitcom of the fall. But the bar isn't too high in that department.
Pilot Grade: C+
Second Episode: C+

Friday Nights:
Constantine, Fridays at 10 p.m. on NBC (Premiered October 24)
About: This latest adaptation of a comic book franchise centers on John Constantine, an exorcist and demon hunter. This feels like a perfect fit on Fridays for NBC, which already has the modest hit "Grimm" and has "Hannibal," one of TV's best shows, in the Spring. They have created a niche on Friday nights, and "Constantine" has the bones to fit right in. That being said, I didn't love the pilot. It was a little boring at times, and the acting felt stiff. Obviously NBC agreed, because after the pilot the network sacked co-lead Lucy Griffiths, who still appears in the pilot but makes an unexpected exit at the end. In the second episode — which airs Friday night — our hero, played by Matt Ryan, will get a new lady sidekick. I still have hopes that this can be an interesting show and a worthy fall companion to "Grimm." It's been an awful fall for NBC's new shows, so they could use a spot of good news, too. We should have a better idea of what the show will be like after the second episode.
Pilot Grade: C-

Saturday Nights:
Transporter, Saturdays at 9 p.m. on TNT (Premiered October 18)
About: This is a European co-production of a show based on the movie franchise that starred Jason Statham. Statham is, if nothing else, an engaging action star. The show plots Chris Vance into the lead role as Frank Martin. It has a lot of references to the movies, but it isn't the movies. I think TNT must realize this, because they dumped it on Saturday nights. The episodes are airing back-to-back, which is also not a great sign. On paper this seems like a decent idea — after all it spawned three fairly successful movies. But in execution, the series is boring. Vance could be a good leading man in the right context, but this isn't it.
Pilot Grade: D
Second Episode: D